Merry Holidays... Merry Christmas...

Today, my first day of "Happy Holidays"!! Yes I have 13 days of off from work and pressure !?D! Starting today...ooops! Already a day is gone :( Initially I was not sure if I will be getting this off, but when spoke to my manager y'day he asked me to take off and come charged for new challenges next year!! I guess this was the first time I spoke to him with a wide smile on my face... an involuntary smile of happiness and joy was on my face and excitement in my heart, when I heard him telling this! Though I did not have any major plans for this off, the very thought of not having to work for whole of almost 2 weeks made me give him a big smile! A bonus vacation… just after a month of my India trip, what else one can ask for?

As usual to start of the holidays... did not get up early in the morning, though I was up by 8, but whiled away time sleeping just like that in half sleep and half awake state! By 10, I started hearing noise from my stomach and at last hunger won over laziness and got up to realize that there is nothing readily available to eat! No fruit, no bread, and no cereal everything has gotten over. Luckily found a cup of Yoplait, a strawberry flavored yogurt! Morning does any one would like to eat that? No way... though I ate 2-3 spoons of it to re-fuel myself and stopped to explore the kitchen for some thing which could become my quick breakfast! nothing other than "poha" caught my eyes... saw there was just one potato left, and fresh curry leaves, green chilies, onions, pea nuts.... all the required ingredients to make a perfect aloo-poha... yummy it was ready in less than 15 mins and it was full of tummy!!

Then now any one is wondering how am I back to blogging after a long long gap? The very first reason is that... I had stopped using my desktop, which always sat in my bed-room and started using lap top all the time sitting in living room! I guess sitting in living room never gave the privacy to my thoughts when ever they tried come out...and other reason being I’m not spending time with myself...I’m on the run all the time! Today first thing I did was, get a table and chair back into my bed room, have laptop installed onto this table and got back the feeling of using the desk top!! No not really :) its just sitting in the room is what that gives me all the clarity to thoughts... and hence is this post today! And that’s how my afternoon went off ... setting my table and tiding up the room!

Then came evening, watched Gajani as planned, first day's show not first show though! And a dinner at friends place and bit of chit-chat and then thought of heading back home! It was almost around 11:30 did not realize how time just flew... but some how when I stepped out of the house, my sleep had gone! There were rain drops on my face and eyes and this cold breeze of Dec pushed my drowsiness to back seat and brought myriad thoughts to front seat! As I buckled my seat belt, turned on heater and started the car towards home... road was pretty much deserted... just one or two cars on the road hear and there and well decorated and brightly lit historic El-Camino Real in its majestic form...as I started driving, started enjoying the drive and did not feel like going home... just continued without making a right turn for my home! Crossed Mary then realized that its Marry Christmas tomorrow... and today is Xmas eve... no wonder! Everyone must be at home with their family and friends and is the reason for these empty road and drive. I crossed couple of roads ahead and then reached Castro of mountain view, but this drive was not enough for me and did not feel like taking a U turn... again went ahead for few more miles...it felt very nice, calm, quiet and serene... a feeling not wanting anything and a feeling of contentness... by then realized its already crossed 12 and a baby Jesus is already born...somewhere... "Happy Birthday to you Jesus" I whispered to myself... and at last took a U-turn, heading back home. By the time I parked car it was 12:40 AM. I got down from the car and walked towards home... there were no drops on my face...there was no rain... a cold wind was blowing and trees were dancing to the choreography of the breeze flowing between them...

Watz there in a name?!?

The sweetest thing to ones own ear is their name!
When ever I heard people's name, invariably I compared to mine! And always felt my name is inferior to others in many ways! First thing it’s as old as India! Associated with India and Indian history and politics! And during those early years of India, this name seems to be pretty popular! there are many great (:D) women whose name I share with, take it first women prime minister of the world or first test tube baby's creator in India, this name is/was found in every field.

This name means goddess of wealth, prosperity and wife of sustainer The Vishnu.
She is supposed to be very beautiful, her face is as pleasant as lotus and she bestows prosperity on all those who believes and worships her! If you take a shortened version of this name, "Indu" that means full moon! Also means today in Kannada!

So now back, so I always felt my name is old fashioned, represent that grandma's era blah blah and all! When some one asked my name a pinch of inferiority was always there in me. I wished to have a sweetest, melodiest, prettiest and coolest name :) and I envied those who have such a beautiful names to tag on to their personality. I felt how lucky they are to have that name.

Today I and one of new friend (my lunch friend!) happen to meet in the rest room. As we were discussing about some “things”, there came one more girl. As usual we smiled at each other and extended the same topic to her as well, and complimented her hair! Then she was telling us how hard it has become for her to manage and how she is loosing her hair due to the stress at work! Etc (i was smiling and imagining her to be at my previous work and imagined what would have happened to her!!). I could see that, she is indeed very stressed and exhausted, remembered my days few months back and felt sorry for her :( and just before leaving she said, "I like your name" hmmm! I thought she is telling it to other friend, she has very beautiful name! On our first lunch itself we had spoken in length about meaning of her name and about that spelling mistake in my name! But as she continued talking I realized that she is indeed telling it to me!! Hmm! that was the first time some one was complementing my full name!! I was pleasantly surprised! I was so surprised that I did not even thank her for the compliments! Felt Wow! Hmmm! I though not bad! There are people who like my name too hmmm! No need to say that, she made my day :) and then after that, I started pondering about my name! Thought about its meaning, though I knew it long back what it means etc but never realized how good or bad it is. I always looked this name in prejudice! And associated with that grandma's era! But now after that incident and that pondering I started to like it and told it myself!! And indeed I felt it to be sweet and good :)

I wonder how many times we take everything we have for granted! We won't realize unless, until some one comes and tells us the meaning of it...

Missing myself...

It has been long since I wrote anything... long since I paused myself and given a break to see where I’m heading to... I’m feeling blank! Don't know what I’m feeling, neither good nor bad its no feeling state... neither do I understand or nor do I don't understand... perhaps I know what it is... perhaps I don't know...

Suddenly for no reason, today I remembering those days, when I used to be in office late in the evenings or during weekends...doing nothing, just reading some news articles here and there, sipping a cup of coffee, watching the cars on the road and those trees and their full life cycle... through that window close to my cubicle and be with myself... just to give all the space and time of the world to myself and get a clarity of thoughts... that used to be very soothing, that used to give me immense feeling of contentness... Today suddenly no not suddenly it’s over a period of time lots of thoughts are wandering around and realized that it has been long since I’m with myself, my myraid mind is missing me and want to get back to her...and yes I’m going to office...!

Beauty, bathe and beyond!

Let me start with a question. Which is the place in your home, where you feel, yourself? Where one spends their time with out any interruption, pretention or any tension! Where one can think of anything and everything, where one gets a quality time to retrospect, think, plan and even sing and dance! Where one could spend time rehearsing calls, talks, and acts and also makes all kind of faces and sees themselves and laugh at it! During blue days one could lock inside and cry heart out! And come out smiling! With all powder shimmered on the face and eyes! One is free of all kinds of poses, perhaps could learn to pose instead! Hmm! What is this place?? Voila! Did I hear? Yes, yes it is our own bathroom! A place where you are all alone, yet with all and whole of yourself. Yes this is one place I love, other than my room itself! Where I find peace and ease with myself, where I think that, I think and keep thinking and get late everywhere :) you see great mind thinks alike, where do you think Archimedes’s the great Eureka coming from?? The very same bathroom :)

Okie now enough of it, let me get to the point, what is this all about? It’s all about beauty, bathe and beyond! It’s about fantasy! Its about that tiny room in a corner of a house we live in, whose role does not stop grooming one physically but also expands beyond... however here it's not about your beauty but its beauty of bathroom itself :) Its all about a dream bathroom!! [Before going further, my next question! How many have this kinda dream bathroom fantasy? I know there are lot of them, okie at least few of them I know of].

Recently one of my friends was visiting me; she stayed with me for couple of days. One day she complimented me for some thing, very few people would ever think of! And that was my bathroom :D When she came out of it, with a big smile she told me that she likes my bathroom soo much that she did not feel like coming out of it! She told me that she likes that mild and sweet fragrance coming out of that freshener and nicely arranged things on that stab etc (which is a mess most of the time :)). And she told me that she did not feel like coming out :) Hmmm! That was nice of her to complement! However I was taken aback! First reason being, she shared the similar kind of interest as mine! Normally we all try to keep it clean and neat, but there are only few people I came across who are passionate about their bathrooms :D and I when she felt the same way as mine, it felt really nice. Second reason being, the current bathroom is not even 10% close to the one I want it to be. Right now I have nothing special in there!

There is this tooth brush holder, which has 5 brushes in it! All different colors and all of them belong to me :D you see a color per day!! And yes we all know that weekend is off, anyway! :) [Just kidding okay, I brush min twice a day!! ;-)] and have some room freshener, few earrings scattered around, a old bath mat, rug etc! Gosh! I tried replacing them with new ones recently, some how could not convince myself to buy those very expensive floor mats and rugs! They are so beautiful and elegant and nice! But equally expensive! Neither did I could convince myself to compromise! So left the battle between mind and heart to figure out in due course of time! [God, they cost me more than those beautiful dresses at Macys and Jjills! :(] I know it’s all just a matter of time and they are making their way to my bathroom pretty soon :)

Other things I wanted to get were those beautiful soap boxes, sprays and those candles and candle stands! They made them so sweet and elegant that I can’t stop looking at them and making a note in mind to match with the color of my bathroom floor, mat, hand towel etc. Poor thing, with all these in place, still my shower tab/base itself is not good :( its all old stuff, looks like we moved in hurry before they could complete their full fledged remodeling. Went and complained about it to the rental office, hope they fix it soon and make my dream bathroom a reality :)

What a wonderful world...

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

[PS: A song from movie "Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na" has this kinda Jazz flavored music... has anybody felt the same?

Check this awesome video for above lyrics and the singer... what a wonderful world!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnRqYMTpXHc ]

You know!!

Today, just came back home after a tiring day at work... by then wow!! what i see!! my roomie had made me delicious tea and what else i can ask for after a long day at work? [I know there are few already feeling J :D] I started having it and enjoying every sip of it. Suddenly you know what? I heard some thing which triggered me to write the following J

Have you ever observed people talking? noticed their unique words which they keep repeating? With every sentence they say, they start or end with that particular word!! I have this weird thing of observation and that too if a person has some things unique like that, guess what? I will be the first person to catch it and become conscious about it!

There was one colleague (?!) in my previous company who would start or end every sentence spoken with "You Know"! Once I was debugging some serious issue, my manager was also with me and this colleague came to discuss the same issue and wanted to help us out with his ideas. He was talking to my manager in particular and I was just listening to both discussing and once in a while when required was answering to their questions. As they were discussing you know? This word caught my attention, and I started wondering to see how many times he was using "you know" you know? My mind stopped listening to their conversation, instead kicked off a counter, waiting to catch the word " you know" and it kept on incrementing... you know? Ufff!!! Within that 3-5 mins conversation you know, how many "you knows were there? You know!! More than 30!!! After a while, my mind was screaming "Stop it" and otherwise I would burst!! I thanked God, when he stopped and left the place, I was relieved, you know!!

There is my new colleague, you know? Actually he starts or ends every line with this word "actually" actually all the times! "Actually, I wanted to do that, but some thing came in between, could not do it... actually..." oooooo!!! start and even end with "actually" :)
In one of weekly meetings, my counter had started incrementing without my knowledge and constantly noticing this "actually", but forcibly I reset and shut it down. But every time I talk to him actually I can not help but wonder how many times he says that J

Let me tell about few of my friends :D!! Hope after reading this post, they won't come and kill me!
This one friend, whenever want to describe some thing amazing, some thing more than normal, there is a word ready called "Super"!!! Like “I'm super happy”, “super hungry”, It's super koool isn't it? What ya say :) This is a patented word from this friend!!

There is one more friend, who would say "Teek hai" for every sentance spoken! "I will come and make tea, teek hai" :)

And there are few other friends, who would just talk in terms of "hmms" like one would say "hmm" other one would reply "hmm hmm" !! hmmmmmmm J

I can't forget this friend of mine, who would always scold "donkeys, monkeys, chaplus and aplus” like "tu gahda hai" arrey! Common why are you scolding those bechare donkeys yaar, common spare them!! I don't know about those chaplus and aplus!! Poor guys whoever they may be!

Last but not least, one other buddy would come and say "I want to get married soon" and say " wish my manger is 10 years younger and unmarried" " i would happily have gotten married !!! " [Though this manager wants or does not want :P you know!! ] I listen and still listening and keep smiling...

Don't know what it is...

I know words you spoke...
I know those words which you did not speak...

I knew your pain...my friend...
I had felt it for myself...
I know that droplet which struggled to escape from those misty eyes...
I know that smile which tried to hide that emptiness of heart...
I know that harshness which tried to surface that weakness...

I know words you spoke...My friend
I know those words which you did not speak...

[PS: This is my first poem in English!!! don't know if it really fits into that category at all! :) written some time back... and now dared to post it!!]

Aralutiru Jeevada geleya ...

O my dearest friend, you blossom in the sprinklings of friendship...
O flower of friendship, don't wither in the bonds of relationships...!
Let feelings reside in that closed heart...
Let the silent song ever vibrate... just like that...
Oh my dearest friend… you flourish …

A bird is singing without disclosing its name…
A flower has spread its fragrance without waiting for permission…
There is no name for the breeze which is carrying this fragrance and the song…
Why do we think about it?
No my dear friend, let us not give a name to this relation... why simply?

A pull which is beyond mere words is simply beautiful…
A heart which is full of love is ever joyful…
Even if our ways part, moon will always come with us…
I will always see you in him…
Let this bond of affection ever be with us… just like that…
O my dearest friend… you flourish and prosper ever...

[PS: This is a literal translation of a song "Aralutiru jeevada geleya" from super hit movie "Mungaru Male". Some how its music and lyrics stuck me many a times and today could not resist but made it to my blog! Tried my best to bring it as close as possible to its original]

A Cage free, organic SW!!!

Recently one of my friends introduced me to this "Whole Foods" market, a place where everything sold is organic! I was visiting for the first time and she was explaining me everything about each product and how they are made/produced etc. There everything was painted with green color and everything was organic, starting from trolley to the carry bags everything is made of environment friendly materials. There was this fresh pea nut butter, which we could make it ourselves, pack it and take it to the counter (hmmm...that reminded me of mom's yummy stone grinded spicy peanut powder which I used to mix with every possible dish @ home :)) As we were browsing through different departments there was one one thing which caught my eyes... that was cage free eggs! So far I had not heard of any thing like that, I asked her about it... Then she explained me that, cage free eggs are eggs from those hens/chickens which are not forced to lay the eggs in a cage and they are not harmonized! Instead they lay at their own will :) and they are let free in the farm and where ever they want they can lay them :) there is no cage and no hormones! Similarly organic milk... where cows are not treated with any hormones to produce more milk or more meat. They all are natural products and more importantly they are not forced to deliver!! Wow what a nice concept, we human beings invented all these stuff of hormones and all, injected them onto those poor cows/chickens and now again we realized that it’s not good for either's health! And we again going back to the nature, where we came from! Back to square one! Start from the point where we started ?! And now this natural product is called green, environment friendly and organic...!!

Similarly... how about a work environment where an engineer is not stressed and pressurized constantly to deliver software? Where one is not caged to their cubicle/office and monitored constantly for their progress! Where one need not confront their manager everyday and give status report! Where one need not hear and feel the fumes escaping from those closed door meetings and avoid that passive participation! Where one is free to work and deliver at their will, of course meeting all those deadlines and requirements! Is that product (SW) developed in such a stress free environment be called a cage free, green organic SW?? !! :)) and more importantly are there such green, organic companies exist !?!

Dear, Pace down!

My weekend just went off and I did not do much. Or doing too many things at once?! Perhaps did not do the things which I wanted to do the most, I still have so many things pending on my to-do list, but some how not able to do! It’s already has been more than a week since I started at my new work. Still most of the things go over my head; Also I thought that one of the thread I started some time back is almost complete, but again when I took a second look and tried to post it, realized that its getting loose some where, some how I’m not getting that grip/hold on it. Too many things are going on in my mind and I’m not able to concentrate on one particular thing at one time, I guess. I’m starting with some thing but my thoughts are taking me some where else!

I’m wondering why it is so? Perhaps I’m running around and around and pushing myself too much without giving myself a break?? Could that be due to my so called vacation? Where I did not do anything other than shopping and hopping the malls. [I did not know until recently that I too like shopping, like many other girls :D]. That shopping bug had really stuck too hard on me and everyday I went to different malls; tried soooo many different dresses, bugged few friends to help me pick up the best fit and bought few of them home. Returned back totally exhausted and tired, but still had preserved enough energy for next day's next round of shopping! During this shopping spree one thing I realized is that of disadvantages of being thin. It is so sooo difficult to get the right fit! In one particular shop I picked up some thing around 10-15 different dresses, liked their color, design and the texture of that cloth. Literally modeled for more than an hour, everything sooo perfect, everything the way I want, but alas! they would not fit me :( all of them were bit too big, bit too loose L I had to leave all those beautiful tops and skirts which I liked and fell in love with behind and go to next shop hoping to find the right ones! Finally after going around and around happy that I could at least get those few which I liked, however reqs are still open, yet to fill in lots of places!!

And later in that same week, came our exciting “Oh My glasses and Avocado” camping trip to our California’s crown Redwood National Park and its preparations and its excitement. Starting from driving that big SUV (Suburban, try pronouncing it as Superman!) on that dark cloudy day, that sea side long drive, where sea and sky were competing with each other to show their vastness! They looked inseparable, as if both are expanding into each other! It was a spectacular vision to see! It’s thick and dense forest, home to many wild animals, specially bear and loins. My idea of bear got changed recently, now that I know that they won’t tickle but really attack! (I used to think that, bears would tickle a person and make them laugh and laugh and that’s how a person would die laughing!! I used to wonder how I would control my laughter if I happen to encounter one!! J) And then its cold, chill weather, that wooden logs, coal and campfire, barbeque and those long long loud midnight discussions (yes we made so much noise that next day forest ranger came and warned us!) and that Klamath beach side flowery trial, which had bunch of colorful flowers and those white daisy like flowers which we could hold it as a bouquet!! And that siesta in warm sand on that mouth of Klamath, and colorful pebble collections and its interpretations!! That castle we built in the sand and left a couple there to live in happily ever after and appointed a guard to safeguard them forever!! And that star explorations in the midnight peeping through those gigantic tall redwood trees…

On top of all these things, my new job, new people, new place and new environment is adding to my restlessness I guess. Its all due to many things happening within a short span of a week and me not giving enough space to myself to sink into these changes. Its time to sober down and pace down myself a bit! hope to get back to normalcy soooon and complete those unfinished tasks!!

A Roller-Coaster :) !!!

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW -- What a Ride! -- Anonymous

As I move on... A Pause...

Today it’s supposed to be my last working day at my current work place! Since a week or two, the very thought of I going away from this place is evoking in me a strong nostalgic feelings. Very weird feelings are throttling my heart and mind since then and trying to come out in every form, which I’m not able to express in words, I started to feel as if I’m going away from my home where I grew up, as if one is leaving everything they cherished behind and going away for some thing unknown, as if I’m forsaking some thing which is close to my heart… So many memories are associated with this work place, many things happened, went through a roller-coaster of emotions, experienced strangest feelings ever felt, sweetest to the bitter most, angriest to most the most helplessness. This place has witnessed those events of my life which changed the course of it forever and rebuilt a person in me. This place taught me the lessons of life, made me realize what a true happiness is, made me humble enough to understand that there are many things in life which I can not change, and there are very few things which I can change, and gave me the courage to go beyond my fear and change those certain things which I could, irrespective of consequences. Showed me that no matter what I can not retake those shots of my life, there is no undo option; but only a Redo! It made me more stronger and more human then ever.

This job was a deep down desire of my heart, a wish which came true, a voice which got answered, and a miracle that happened to me! This job gave me a name to my unknown face, gave me an identity which I was longing for. It made me believe that "When some one wishes for some thing whole heartedly, whole universe conspires to make it happen"

That was a hardest and bitterest time of my life, a sweet dream of my life had turned out to be a bitter most nightmare. It made me a slave to a situation. Had burnt out all my dreams, aspirations and had left no desires, no feelings, and no expectations in me, absolutely drained out all emotions and all the emptiness of world filled in me. Nothing mattered to me in my life, was just living for the sake of living. But there was just one tiny ray of hope which filled my heart once in a while and giving me hope that things would change, a breeze would come in and soothe my heart and would allow me to recollect broken pieces of myself into one and integrate me... wished that one day I would break all those chains and fly freely to the sky. That ray of hope was my job, my work, my desperation, my aspiration and deep down desire of heart and that kept me going on even when I thought I could not.

It was a Thursday night. I was realizing that things were going bad to worst; the hope was becoming bleak and did not know what to do! I just sat helplessly, eyes filled, folding my hands, surrendered myself totally to the Nature, the God and with my whole heart and soul, I cried for help, I cried for independence, I cried for liberation…I asked to interfere into my life and bring some peace into it and I closed my eyes…

Friday, next day as usual got up in morning, did not know what that day had brought in for me, day was just unfolding slowly and I was busy with usual days stuff, I heard phone ringing. Casually I lifted the phone; I heard a familiar voice, it was one of old colleague and a good friend of mine. Mere hearing his voice lifted my spirits and I was all smiling and talking to him. This was first time I was talking to him after a gap of year or more. After hearing him I was speechless, could not believe what I heard and I was shocked, speechless and dumb! I could not stop but thanked God for the answer I received for my helpless cry. He said that he called me to find out if I’m interested in joining the company he was working for, they were looking for people with a similar skill set as of mine. He said if I’m interested he would arrange a meeting with respective people and start the hiring process. I said WHAT? Is that true or am I dreaming? He had the patience to explain me everything again and I was still in that shock and heard him saying that he would come and pick me up in the afternoon. I was wondering and wondering and thanked God many a times for the answer I received. As he promised he came to pick me up and I was delighted to see him, we talked and talked till we reached the office, he did not have any clue what so ever was happening with my life and me!! As usual he kept on pulling my legs, and I just kept smiling for his comments and went with him, met few great people in the company, they seemed happy with me and agreed to do further processing and asked me when I could start? All these things were happening in such a fast pace, I did not know what was going on around me and I was in total shock and was wondering to see this sudden change of events?!? I was asking myself is this true? Did I just get a job? And yes that was true, a real fact which changed my life all together. I witnessed a miracle, it was Friday and a long weekend was about to start, I was more than happy to join them immediately after that weekend, on Tuesday!! By end of that great day I had a job in my hand and belief in my heart!! And rest is now a history.

It made me believe that happiness lies for those who have had searched, for those who were hurt, for those who craved, for those who fell down and got up again, because only they know the true meaning of happiness, they know the value of people who touched their heart and helped them to get back up again. A place which gave solace to my broken heart, soothed my feelings and integrated me to rediscover myself and to be a person what I’m today. This is the place where I met those wonderful people who touched my heart with their kindness and with their unconditional support. I’m thankful to them for my rest of my life. I’m taking with me tons and tons of these fond memories, which I would cherish and keep them close to my heart forever.

Before I say “Good Bye to U” I salute you and bow humbly before you for everything you have given to me. May billion stars shine upon you!

Chimneys to Chutneys...

Today I was talking to a friend of mine at work. As we spoke our conversation suddenly took a serious turn about life and as usual I started blabbering some serious stuff, then he asked me why don't I write a blog? And later he shared one of his recent postings, for which I'm yet to write a comment! Yes I thought about blogging since a year or so, had created an account in blogspot and wrote some things in it and never dared to post, thinking that it would reveal too much of myself and my state of mind at that time and my seriousness!!?? now that I guess I have grown old by a year since last year (so lost a bit of that seriousness :) and have gained a bit of courage too to laugh at those thoughts and dare to share with others.

As I started digging into the old stuff which I had written a year back or so, which was nothing but my random thoughts scribbled on a notepad, sitting all alone in a hotel room of Seattle. Instead of editing those writings, I started remembering the funny experiences I had during a week long stay.

I had just come back from India, leaving all loved ones back there and struggling to answer many unanswered questions!! I can say that my mind was set in thinking mode, would not do anything other than sit and think!!! and think what? anything and everything! and at that time I had to visit Seattle!! what a right timings! the place where I did not have any friends then, [now thankfully I have one of my great buddy there and I wish my company sent me there for how ever long they want :)] but then as my mind was closed, short-circuited and did not want to talk to anybody or make any new friends. I was all alone myself in a hotel room, driving to MS campus in the rain, doing nothing other than bugging those MS guys,wandering around the building and come back to hotel in the evening, eat the togo parcel packed from nearby Mayuri and again watch TV, watch aimlessly the rain, clouds, trees, parking lot, cars and few people here and there and then again just sit and think about every possible thing about life. [That was the time I started putting all the serious stuff I mentioned above into words, I had no other option but to write!] The same routine went on for a week and there came a weekend, absolutely did not know what to do, first time I felt Santa Clara, my home, a home away from home and missed everything about it. The eagerness to get back was growing in my heart but I was supposed to be there for few more days and spend the weekend over there.

That weekend I was tired of doing nothing, so decided that I will try out some different restaurant in Seattle, was bored with my regular Mayuri, and was looking into the list of restaurants provided in the hotel room, among them Chutney's caught my eyes, remembered the one in Hyd and its delicious dosa and that yummy coconut chutney, was that steam dosa?? I don't remember now, but then I thought of that and decided to explore the downtown of Seattle. By then I had fair idea of Seattle, Belleuve, Redmond’s geography and confident that I would not get lost anywhere. [All those streets are numbered and cross each other, one set starts with hundreds and other with ones and they intersect perpendicularly. Just by knowing these 2 numbers one could easily figure out the near by places]

With that (over) confident I did not bother to take the direction and started to Chutneys. I drove and drove for many miles, I was still on the same road, and I did not see anywhere the board Chutneys. Went into all possible malls hoping that I would find it and have steam dosa! I continued to drive around searching for it, by then I realized that I made a mistake of not taking the right direction and scolding myself for being over confident. But still I did not want to go back without finding it. I gave myself a chance, I thought, will take this one turn and go there if I don't find then, will go back to good old reliable Mayuri and I was thinking this and was waiting for a signal. I heard some one from other lane trying to tell me some thing; I slid my windows down to listen to him. "You are driving without headlights being turned on" Ooops! OMG! thank you was my first reaction. At that same moment before I could do anything lights turned green, there were cars behind, it was a rental car, unfamiliar new car, I'm on some unknown road, trying to find a "known" restaurant in an unknown place!!, could not do anything, just went into the first parking lot encountered on the way, entered it. I saw a police car passing by. Until then I was fearless driving bindaas, now that I knew I'm driving without lights on, the fear crept in me, what if they catch me and give a ticket was going in my mind. I was driving my car for almost a week without turning the lights ON!! [Was wondering all those days why I' was not able to see the road clearly, blamed it on rains and clouds! btw I used not wear glasses by then :)]. Thankfully found a parking lot, parked the car, figured out the knobs for lights, turned them on and then thought enough of Chutneys and almost accepted the defeat and thought that I'm stupid, overconfident and I should not do this again and thought of heading back to hotel and pack the stuff from regular Mayuri on the way! With head lights ON I came out of parking lot with OFF feelings and angry on myself for not taking the proper directions.

I come out of parking lot, see that it was a one way road and was forced to take a right turn out of parking lot and again confronted a traffic signal, waiting again for a green light. It was a long traffic signal, evening, raining, lots of cars on the road and I was waiting and my mind and eyes were just wandering around. Suddenly a light lit my head, I lowered my windows, there was a Indian guy in the next lane, as soon as I did that ,he realized that I was trying to ask him some thing, he lowered his window too, I sensed that light was about to get green, I shouted WHERE IS CHUTNEYS ??

He smiled and said take a right!!!!!!! And lights were green... [Saw him wondering why I asked him that question and might have thought that I’m making some excuse just to talk to him!!! I did see him smiling :)] I waited for cars in front of me to pass and I took a right turn... my joy knew no boundaries... oh! What did I see?? CHUTNEYS in front of me, the joy I felt was worth the effort and I was soooooo happy :), my face was lit with a smile so did my car and I entered the restaurant!!

[PS: I found this restaurant to be pretty decent one, no where near to the one in Hyd though and there were no dosa, forget about steam dosa. Did not feel like eating alone, just ordered togo veggie pulav and drove back to hotel happily and at last this over confident girl did not loose but found her way to Chutneys :)!!!!]