As I move on... A Pause...

Today it’s supposed to be my last working day at my current work place! Since a week or two, the very thought of I going away from this place is evoking in me a strong nostalgic feelings. Very weird feelings are throttling my heart and mind since then and trying to come out in every form, which I’m not able to express in words, I started to feel as if I’m going away from my home where I grew up, as if one is leaving everything they cherished behind and going away for some thing unknown, as if I’m forsaking some thing which is close to my heart… So many memories are associated with this work place, many things happened, went through a roller-coaster of emotions, experienced strangest feelings ever felt, sweetest to the bitter most, angriest to most the most helplessness. This place has witnessed those events of my life which changed the course of it forever and rebuilt a person in me. This place taught me the lessons of life, made me realize what a true happiness is, made me humble enough to understand that there are many things in life which I can not change, and there are very few things which I can change, and gave me the courage to go beyond my fear and change those certain things which I could, irrespective of consequences. Showed me that no matter what I can not retake those shots of my life, there is no undo option; but only a Redo! It made me more stronger and more human then ever.

This job was a deep down desire of my heart, a wish which came true, a voice which got answered, and a miracle that happened to me! This job gave me a name to my unknown face, gave me an identity which I was longing for. It made me believe that "When some one wishes for some thing whole heartedly, whole universe conspires to make it happen"

That was a hardest and bitterest time of my life, a sweet dream of my life had turned out to be a bitter most nightmare. It made me a slave to a situation. Had burnt out all my dreams, aspirations and had left no desires, no feelings, and no expectations in me, absolutely drained out all emotions and all the emptiness of world filled in me. Nothing mattered to me in my life, was just living for the sake of living. But there was just one tiny ray of hope which filled my heart once in a while and giving me hope that things would change, a breeze would come in and soothe my heart and would allow me to recollect broken pieces of myself into one and integrate me... wished that one day I would break all those chains and fly freely to the sky. That ray of hope was my job, my work, my desperation, my aspiration and deep down desire of heart and that kept me going on even when I thought I could not.

It was a Thursday night. I was realizing that things were going bad to worst; the hope was becoming bleak and did not know what to do! I just sat helplessly, eyes filled, folding my hands, surrendered myself totally to the Nature, the God and with my whole heart and soul, I cried for help, I cried for independence, I cried for liberation…I asked to interfere into my life and bring some peace into it and I closed my eyes…

Friday, next day as usual got up in morning, did not know what that day had brought in for me, day was just unfolding slowly and I was busy with usual days stuff, I heard phone ringing. Casually I lifted the phone; I heard a familiar voice, it was one of old colleague and a good friend of mine. Mere hearing his voice lifted my spirits and I was all smiling and talking to him. This was first time I was talking to him after a gap of year or more. After hearing him I was speechless, could not believe what I heard and I was shocked, speechless and dumb! I could not stop but thanked God for the answer I received for my helpless cry. He said that he called me to find out if I’m interested in joining the company he was working for, they were looking for people with a similar skill set as of mine. He said if I’m interested he would arrange a meeting with respective people and start the hiring process. I said WHAT? Is that true or am I dreaming? He had the patience to explain me everything again and I was still in that shock and heard him saying that he would come and pick me up in the afternoon. I was wondering and wondering and thanked God many a times for the answer I received. As he promised he came to pick me up and I was delighted to see him, we talked and talked till we reached the office, he did not have any clue what so ever was happening with my life and me!! As usual he kept on pulling my legs, and I just kept smiling for his comments and went with him, met few great people in the company, they seemed happy with me and agreed to do further processing and asked me when I could start? All these things were happening in such a fast pace, I did not know what was going on around me and I was in total shock and was wondering to see this sudden change of events?!? I was asking myself is this true? Did I just get a job? And yes that was true, a real fact which changed my life all together. I witnessed a miracle, it was Friday and a long weekend was about to start, I was more than happy to join them immediately after that weekend, on Tuesday!! By end of that great day I had a job in my hand and belief in my heart!! And rest is now a history.

It made me believe that happiness lies for those who have had searched, for those who were hurt, for those who craved, for those who fell down and got up again, because only they know the true meaning of happiness, they know the value of people who touched their heart and helped them to get back up again. A place which gave solace to my broken heart, soothed my feelings and integrated me to rediscover myself and to be a person what I’m today. This is the place where I met those wonderful people who touched my heart with their kindness and with their unconditional support. I’m thankful to them for my rest of my life. I’m taking with me tons and tons of these fond memories, which I would cherish and keep them close to my heart forever.

Before I say “Good Bye to U” I salute you and bow humbly before you for everything you have given to me. May billion stars shine upon you!